New Meaning to a “Tiger in Bed”

February 18, 2010

Literally world, yours truly, Mr. Eldrick “Tiger” Woods:

The Gentleman Caller

Tiger on the Prowl

I have been gone for a long minute so first I would like to thank all the Smashmauf! fans for remaining loyal and keeping tabs on the site.  Smashmauf! is not going anywhere, I’m pleased to announce that.

While I was away, it seems Tiger got himself entangled in some juicy business – literally.  Alright.  Now I was not going to comment on his skewed publicity but for those who still do not know, Smashmauf is here to clarify one important thing.  Tiger is one Rich Mother-Shut-Your-Mouth.  The guy can probably make more money by burning money in public; he is that Rich.  Why the hell do you care who he is sleeping with??  No way you are going to be on that kind of game if your status is not on the level.  Just let the thing go.  We all know how it is.  The guy is an Athlete.  The guy is “Cau-Bla-N-Asian”; yeah, though we all just see that he’s part Asian and Black.  The guy is the BEST IN HIS PROFESSION.  The guy makes more money for others and yet he is still a Billionaire.  The guy is popular.  The guy is confident.  The guy has handlers to handle his handlers.  He married a SWEDISH BABYSITTER.  He guy is a marketing ICON.  Everyone on the planet with access to a Radio or Television knows or has heard of Tiger Woods.  And then, to top it off, his nickname is Tiger – as in, “He must be a TIGER in bed”.  Lots of women with any kind of access will throw themselves at him.  Even now.  That will not change.  Quite frankly, as long as he keeps Golfing, he will always be in the public limelight.  You can read between the lines on all of that but it will not change any of it.  All Smashmauf! wants to report is Tiger Woods, the Golfer.  I hope he comes back better than ever and breaks every damn Golfing record he can possibly break.  Leave the bed talk to the “Ladies” who kiss and tell.


Reflections: Game 2 of the NBA Finals

June 8, 2009

The Orlando Magic are in trouble!  Period.

Game 2 played out exactly the way Game 1 should have played out if the NBA Goons Referees had not completely skewed the series in favor of the Lakers.  The Orlando Magic battled valiantly, despite the Goons Referees showing up again in the 4th quarter, only to have their efforts and hopes dashed by a missed Layup by Courtney Lee.  I hate to put the loss squarely on his shoulders because basketball is a team sport BUT the truth is that the loss falls squarely on his shoulders; he missed a Layup at the end of regulation that would have won a game in which they had been completely discriminated against – in a series that they are being completely discriminated against.  I know there pundits and fans like myself who would argue against this fact but the truth is that it was a LAYUP!  No matter how hard the LAYUP was, it was nowhere as hard as taking a half-court, off-balance, defender-in-your-face, hailmary, buzzerbeating 3point shot.  All Lee had to do was hit a LAYUP from about 2-3feet away.  All I have to say is, “Courtney, where is your heart?”. 

Am I being hard on Lee?  YES!  Am I being malicious or unfair? NO!  It is no secret, the NBA is against the Orlando Magic.  They want the Lakers to win and they tolerate awful officiating much to the detriment of the Magic.  In this series, Orlando Magic are facing the most daunting task and the NBA hype machine so they have almost no chance.  They are the true underdogs in every way possible.  After going through a horrible shame of a game that was Game 1, you would think that Courtney Lee would want to stick it to the Lakers and the powers that be, David Stern & His Stoogies, but he was not in the moment.  Everything that makes a guy like Kenny Smith, Robert Horry or, Joe Dumars great was missing in that moment from Courtney Lee.  It is in the same category as the John Starks NBA Finals performance when the game mattered and is very demoralizing no matter how you look at it.  My prediction is that the Magic will not be able to overcome this game over the next 2 games, that is how big those moments were.

As for the Lakers, they played well but not enough to win.  They did not deserve to win either Game 1 or Game 2 (something that should be a rallying point for the Magic) but it does not matter now, a win is a win.  Lamar Odom is proving what we have all known all along, he is a truly remarkable and gifted basketball player.  If the hype-machine NBA would get off Kobe’s nether regions for a second the whole world might be able to appreciate all the great players, talent and, hardwork that actually goes into creating a Championship calibre team.  The Lakeshow are a really good team (not the best team this decade in the Finals – I doubt they could beat last year’s Celtics or this year’s version if KG had not gotten injured – still…); they deserve all the credit for playing to win and making the most of every chance or opportunity to win the Title.  They should be able to close out the Magic in 4 and finally lay claim to the 2009 Championship.  Kobe David Stern and the Lakers can finally bring another title to Tinsel Town.

**Gag**  I think I am going to be sick.  Prepare to be bombarded with Kobe merchandise and the NBA hype machine.


Smashing Hiatus…

June 3, 2009

There have not been a lot of postings recently and for that I apologize but trust there will be more articles coming (lots of topics and happenings in sports that I want to touch on or discuss).  Stay tuned and make sure to keep checking the blog for updates.  

Feel free to share your sports related opinions or discussions with me and I will get back to you in due time.  You can also keep up with me via Twitter or via email: smashmauf@gmail.com

Ps: Magic vs. Lakers?!  Who-woulda-thunk-it?  Definitely have to give it up to the Magic for fighting and plugging away.  Like the man, Rudy T once said, “Never underestimate the heart of a ….”, y’all know the rest.  Much respect to Superman Dwight Howard for coming through on his promises and to Rashad Lewis for living up to his massive contract.  It must seriously hurt Seattle citizens to watch Ray Allen and Rashad Lewis make it to the promised land in back-to-back years (SNAP!).  Sometimes a little bit of faith, a little bit of cooperation and a little bit of heart is all that it takes to get over the hump.  I love the underdogs, I’m all for the Magic! 



Time for Lamar Odom to Step Up

May 18, 2009

Lakers Nuggets BasketballWith the Los Angeles Lakers closing out the Rockets series on Sunday they are now poised for an immensely dynamic series with the Denver Nuggets.  Both teams are extremely heavy on athleticism and offensive firepower.  Both teams enjoy to completely beat down the competition and both teams are very fun to watch.  For anyone who enjoys watching chalkboard, fundamental, basketball this is the wrong series for you because there are bound to be plays that can invoke heart-attacks.  This is going to be like watching 2 sluggers duke it out for bragging rights; it sure will not be anything like a Lennox Lewis fight – more like a George Foreman slugfest.  Not lacking in star power, this series has the following players, Chauncey Billups, J.R. Smith, Carmelo Anthony, Nene Hilario, Kenyon Martin, Chris Andersen, Jordan Farmar, Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, Paul Gasol, Andrew Bynum and, Trevor Ariza; I mean, “Wow!”  This is going to be fun.  I could not wait to evaluate the matchup. 

As far as the Nuggets are concerned, they need to continue playing that physical, top-flight and above-the-rim style of basketball.  George Karl has the lucky task of managing this super lineup.  He has to make sure that the big men handle all of their assignments because that will put some serious damper on the Lakers attack.  Andersen and Martin have to continue to be physical with Gasol and Bynum on the defensive end because the Lakers frontcourt has not done a good job responding to physical play.  On the other end, Chauncey Billups has to run the offense to its maximum potential.   Billups will have to make sure that J.R. Smith, Carmelo Anthony, Linas Kleiza and, Nene get good touches on a consistent basis.  By holding their ground on defense and getting out on the break, Denver might have a chance to break the will of the Lakers at the end of each game.  The big issues as far as the Nuggets are concerned are that the Nuggets do not have a lot of ballhandlers (they really have to watch out for turnovers) and they also do not have anyone on their team that can cover Kobe Bryant (J.R. Smith is athletic enough but it is doubtful that he has the stamina to harrass Kobe for the span of a ball game).  Both issues will be the achilles heel for the Denver Nuggets in their battle against the Lakers.

With respect to the Lakers, they really have nothing to lose in this matchup.  Lakers beatup on the Nuggets pretty well during the regularly season and they have been beating up on the Nuggets on a consistent basis in recent years.  They have the home advantage and are extremely tough to beat when they play at the Staples Centre; also, the Nuggets are not very good on the road (despite their relative success so far in these playoffs).  Kobe has to continue to be aggressive early on in the ball games and he has to make sure to get his teammates involved on the offensive end.  The Lakers have a serious advantage if they decide to push the pace of the game because Jordan Farmar is proving to be a solid player on the break; he makes good decisions, shoots high percentage shots and is a tremendous ball handler (his only knock is that he plays some shotty defence at times).  Phil Jackson has the luck of making sure  he gets Farmar some solid playing time and playing in situations where he can be very effective.  The biggest advantage the Lakers have though has to be Lamar Odom.  Odom has been the enigma on this Lakers team for too long but now it all makes perfect sense – this series is taylor-made for his skills.  His size, mobility and plethra of skills will definitely create problems for the Nuggets on both ends of the court.  His resourcefulness and depth makes him the biggest asset for this Laker team because he allows them to be continuous when they go to the bench or have to change pace and he can play 3 (maybe 4) spots on the floor.  He does a great job of staying out of foul trouble and is able to cover his assignments on Defense.  On the offensive end, he can really wreck havoc on the Nuggets when they decide to go small.  If he can get up to 20 and 10 in any of the games, Lakers should win easily.  He is the X-factor.  Phil Jackson needs to get him in the game plan ASAP.

Overall, I cannot wait to get this game on the road.  The battle begins at 9pm E.T. tomorrow.  If Odom shows up, Lakers win big.


Blue Jays Keep Pace In the American East Race

May 16, 2009

BASEBALL/Robert Ray and the Toronto Blue Jays win yet another series this season to continue their assault on the American League East.  In doing so the Jays have now setup a big showdown with the big bully on the block right now, the Boston Red Sox, in the next week. Unbelievable.  I was able to make it to last night’s drubbing of the White Sox at the Rogers Centre and the one thing that jumped out at me then was how composed and confident this Blue Jays team is on the pitch.  Aaron Hill alluded to it in his post game interview as well, that the team did not spend too much time lamenting the NYY series loss and that the team is coming together nicely and focused on going game-by-game. 

With such a great start to the season, keeping their composure will be an asset as they get into the thick of the regular season and the Jays showed off their metal today.  Down 1-0 to the White Sox early in the game, the Jays responded with 2 runs in the 8th inning sparked by a solid hit and steal from Vernon Wells.  Adam Lind drove in Wells with a double and Jose Bautista drove in Lind to win the series.  A strong performance by the Blue Jays team and great response to the 1st adversity this team has had to weather all season long.  In a long season that is bound to provide even more adverse situations, it is good to see that the Jays are willing to take a work man’s approach towards this season.  Next in line, the BoSox – soon as they close out the remaining 2 games with the White Sox this glorious long weekend.


Stefan Frei and Reds Burnt by Chicago Fire

May 16, 2009

StefanFreiStefan Frei’s gaffe in the 59th minute of the, would-have-been, battle between the Toronto Football Club and the Chicago Fire proved to be most costly for the Reds as they lose to the Fire 2-0 to fall to the 3rd spot in the MLS Eastern Conference standings.  Rushing out to cover a fantastic feed by Chicago’s Cuauhtemoc Blanco to Chris Rolfe, Frei opted to kick away the feed rather than cover up the pass with his body and in doing so he gave up an easy goal to Rolfe.  A major gaffe by a supposedly top-flight player for the Reds.  Instead of making what should have been a fairly regular save, Frei’s lackadaisical effort on that one play proved to be the difference maker in the clash for the Eastern Conference lead spot.  The Reds had opportunities to equalize the game shortly thereafter but Pablo Vitti (who is still seeking his 1st goal on the season) could not finish fantastic helpers with a goal.  For a guy who is supposed to be one of the up and coming soccer players on the Argentine national squad, both effort left a lot to be desired from the young man.  Overall, despite the late rallying effort from the Reds and strong performances by Barrett, Serioux, Guevara and Brennan, this was a very disappointing loss for the Reds as they relinquished an opportunity to lay claim to the top position in the Eastern Conference.  The Reds still have some ways to go before they can be considered a top flight team in MLS.


Please Brett Favre, Stay Retired

May 15, 2009

Packers Favre FootballThe rumours of Brett Favre coming out of retirement once again to play in the NFL are starting to intensify.  The main theme around the Favre rumour mill is that he is trying to get work for the Minnesota Vikings.  It is very disturbing that Favre would risk life and limb again to play football once again; when will he learn?  I thought the New York Jets experience would have taught him that getting to the Super Bowl one more time might be nothing more than a pipe dream.  Please Brett Favre, as a fan and admirer of your work, stay retired this time.  You have nothing to prove to anybody and that includes yourself.  You are an idol in our eyes and a legend of the game.  Please leave it at that.   Unless….you decide to sign with my Pittsburgh Steelers; in that case, please unretire right away and back up Ben Roethlisberger.  Otherwise…stay retired.  Thank you.


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